So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
