i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
