Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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