Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
