I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
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I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Help. Why am I so naked?
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