i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
