Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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