he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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