I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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