I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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