I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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