She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Lo siento on account of my penis...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
