is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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