that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
