Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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