You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
