woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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