She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
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i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
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the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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