Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize