we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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