honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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