Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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