You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
