Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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