sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
