Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
