There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
