3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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