You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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