Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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