brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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