Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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