If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
this just has baby written all over it
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
