This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize