i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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