this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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