Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
well you can't waste a boner
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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