i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
