I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
