You're so nebulous sometimes
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
