from now on my penis is your penis
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
