The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize