You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Ladies don't puke and tell
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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