i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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