in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
