I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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