roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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