I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
