:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
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The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
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Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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