i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
