i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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