Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
