The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
