Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
