I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
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