If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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