Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
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vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
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Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
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