I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
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