I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
