I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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