What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
