Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize